Oceans

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

I love this song, y'all! It has really comforted me recently. School has been rough, but I need to remember to rest in Christ!! 

Life Lately

Hi y'all! Sorry that I haven't written in what feels like 100 years! Did you know that having a full time job is not easy? I didn't know. I was definitely surprised. I honestly did not think it would be this hard. I hate feeling unprepared, but honestly, that's all I feel lately. I have such a great support system, though. I have really had to learn to rely on them and on God who is enough for me.  This morning while I was doing my Bible Study Fellowship lesson one question really stood out to me. It asked "What positive and/or negative thoughts does the word 'saved' bring to you? Why?" Here's my answer: "Rescue - I am completely helpless without God's gift of salvation. I NEED to be saved, rescued. It's not a matter of need versus want... It's not up for debate. I NEED a Savior." That's what I have realized over the past 4 weeks of school. I cannot do this without Him. I tried. Ask me how that went. The past 2 days where I've started my day with God, meeting Him in my kitchen before school, have been INCREDIBLY DIFFERENT than the other days I've been at school. I have had more patience, more empathy, the students have been better behaved. I know that it's God.  A little update on Barli: She had her leg amputated today. This was an extremely difficult decision to make. I posted my thoughts on it here. My super awesome, loving, caring, stud muffin husband dropped her off at the vet this morning. I am so thankful that he was able to do it so that I didn't have to. I am having a really hard time with this. I feel so silly for crying about it, but it literally makes me cry. We will pick her up either Friday evening or Saturday morning. What I keep thinking is that I'll never see my dog with all her limbs again. Please pray for me that I'll have peace with our decision and for Barli's recovery! 

Choosing to Laugh

I'm a mess, y'all... I have lost [and found] our marriage license TWICE in the past week... I can't make this up. I think that I have really bad wedding brain still. I also think that it has something to do with getting a job and filling out SO many papers. I usually don't mind paperwork, but it was a beat down for sure! I am really ready for the school year to start and for things to get back to normal. We don't know where we will be living in August which is really scary for me. I know that God will make sure that we have somewhere to stay [probably with one of our families for a month] and that I shouldn't worry about it, but I am SUCH a worrier. I keep this verse close to my heart at all times

I am a woman of God and I don't need to worry about the days to come!! I can focus on being a good homemaker and wifey right now! I don't need to let the worry of tomorrow overshadow today. This doesn't mean that we won't be working to save money [and maybe make a little money] these next 6 weeks, but that I won't be consumed by that worry. God has so much in store for us and I can't wait to see what happens in the coming months. I am thankful to have God's Word to comfort me when I worry. Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to laugh at the days to come!

My Hope is in Him

Remember this post? I know it wasn't posted all too long ago, but it is my most read post. I love that people have seen what I wrote about how God's will cannot be stopped! I have learned that so many times this past year.
It was almost exactly this time last year when I was offered the Dallas position. On Monday the 17th, I interviewed for a position at Hutcheson Junior High in Arlington. I initially was interviewing for a science position, but after talking with the principal for a while, we got to talking about how much I love math. I was able to change his mind about what position he was interviewing me for (which I think is cool) and he told me that he would be considering me for an 8th grade math position. I got a call Tuesday afternoon from the principal officially offering me the position! I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to receive that call! The LORD was so there with me during the whole interview. I felt so calm and collected. I had been praying that He would give me the right words to help convey my points and help the interviewer understand where I was coming from. Obviously God was with me! I cannot believe that after a year of looking, God has found where He wants me to be.

I am beyond thrilled to be joining the staff at Hutch and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year! Please continue to pray for me as I start my first year of teaching. Pray that I have patience, that my students will know how much I care for them, that the staff will welcome me and be willing to help me when I need it, and that I will be a light for everyone that I meet! Thank you, LORD!!!

Choosing Happiness

I have been struggling with something for as long as I can remember. I have a really hard time being happy for people. Even people I want to be happy for, I have a super difficult time getting there. I know this stems from jealousy and jealousy stems from my own insecurities. I definitely am aware of my insecurities, and I think that knowing that they're there makes this a little bit easier to deal with. I want to be able to celebrate other peoples success without feeling like I'm a complete failure. I want to be happy for my friends who have things that I don't have without feeling like I need to have it first. I want to be happy for my sister who excels at most things she does. I have such a hard time with this! Why can't I just be happy for people that I genuinely love and care for? I need God to work on this in me. I want Him to bring to light my insecurities so I can face them and not feel jealous toward these people. I am praying for Him to show me how to be happy for others. I want Him to help me have better self confidence, so I don't constantly feel the need to compare myself to others. I love this quote:

I could not agree more. I need to stop feeling like I need to have what others have. I am so blessed and don't need to compare myself to others in order to know that. How often when I'm teaching/tutoring/subbing do I tell students, "you worry about you." Why can I not follow my own advice? This doesn't mean that I'm not going to care about other people, but I need to remember that my success isn't defined by what is going on in someone else's life.
 Lord, I'm asking you to please help me to only be concerned with me. Help me not to compare myself to others. Help me to be happy for other people in my life. I know that with Your help, I can do this.
If you think about me, please pray for me that I will be strong in my effort to be happy for others. I like to think that I am a happy person, but if I cannot be happy for others, then am I really happy? I want to be REALLY happy. I want REAL joy.

His Perfect Will

If you don't know me in real life, let me tell you a little bit about me! I grew up in Mansfield, TX, a small (but fast growing) town outside of Fort Worth. I graduated from Mansfield High School in 2008 and started classes at Texas A&M University that fall. I graduated from A&M in May 2012 with a degree in Math and Science Education.

I, like most college grads, fully expected to have a job right out of college. I applied for countless numbers of jobs, and was severely disappointed when all my peers were receiving calls for interviews while I was still waiting to hear from one school. I finally received a call from a Dallas ISD school wanting me to interview for a 4th grade position. I was so nervous! My first interview went pretty well, I think. I don't remember much of it at all. I drove back down to College Station (I was living in CS for the summer) and sometime in the same week I received a call for another interview, this time in Red Oak. I drove back to DFW and interviewed for a 5/6th grade math position. This interview, I remember, went really well. So well that they had me interview with the curriculum director of the district. I went back to CS and sometime that week, I got a call from the Dallas school offering me the position. I didn't pray about it, I didn't talk to Tom about it, I just decided that the first job I got offered is the one I should take. To make this long story a little bit shorter, the entire thing fell through. It was really sketchy and I thank God every day that I did not end up at that school.

That doesn't mean that I didn't still want a classroom. I had 6 or so more interviews, which led to my tutoring position at Farrell Elementary in Arlington. This job was such a blessing. I was in 3rd grade (a little young for me) helping prep the kids for their upcoming STAAR test. I started at the end of October and finished at the end of April. I learned so incredibly much while working at Farrell. I learned all about Response To Intervention (RTI), strategies for teaching language arts and reading. I am so thankful for the team I worked with at Farrell. They helped me become a much better teacher and I don't know where I would be without them!

Now it's the end of the school year and I'm seeing all my peers from A&M talking about packing up their classrooms and how they feel about it being the end of the year and here I am, still jobless, not sure where I'll be next year, not knowing where Tom and I will be living. I am having to choose to think positively about this! I cannot let Satan get a grip on my mind and let me think that I am not good enough to be a teacher, that I won't get a job, that nobody wants me. I have to rely on my knowledge of God, that His perfect will cannot be thwarted, that He has a plan for me and it is far greater than anything I could ever imagine. I have to know that He is making me wait because there is something out there that is meant for me. I have to remember that God's timing is perfect. I have to continue to pray for His guidance, that He will lead me to the place that I am meant to be. My favorite verse that has helped me so much during this entire process is Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." I find so much comfort in the fact that my God is bigger than anything in this world and that He fights for me every second of every day! Thank You, LORD, for Your amazing promise to fight for me!!